“No, You Can’t Have My Other Cheek!”

What Holding on to Unforgiveness Feels Like

Carm Valdez


We can hold on to unforgiveness like a jewel around our neck, especially when it’s justified; we’ve been offended, maltreated, abused. And it’s really unfair!

Photo Credtis: Everypixel

If it helps to see the picture better, let’s recall the recent considerable offense done against us.

Okay, that’s enough.

We know we can sue the person, and win the case with our strong evidence. Mercy calls out, and it is too tempting to yell back, “No, you can’t have my other cheek!” because we need to deal with hurt and bitterness as we are reminded of the offense.

“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die” and “Forgiveness is a choice.” We have heard these clichés and brushed them off in the past — until it is our “rights” that are being taken away from us. “Just forgive” — indeed, this is easier said than done!

Yet, at the moment when we seem to have made up our minds to avenge ourselves, our conscience haunts us like a ghost. We argue, “Why am I the one being troubled when it seems fair to sue? What’s the use of these courts and public attorneys if they don’t defend my rights?” (Insert loud wailing.)

It takes too much courage just to let go and leave it all to God. More so, when we pray like Jesus, “Forgive him for he doesn’t know what he’s doing… Ummm, actually he does, but forgive him still, Lord.” And trust me when I say this: the moment we do this, all the sleepless nights and bitterness go away with it.

How freeing!

Indeed, we are still a work in progress. And if we face persecution in the future, how will we fare? As Jeremiah 12:5 says,

If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in a safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?

Mind-boggling. But what is more mind-boggling is to know that God allowed it to happen to us. You may ask me why. Well, I don’t have all the answers in the world. But let me tell you what He said while I was crying “Lord, it’s unfair,” somehow begging Him to do something about it, or rather, do something to the…



Carm Valdez

ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ Sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ɴᴇᴡs. ᴅɪffᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏᴘɪᴄs, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴏɴʟʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ONE MESSAGE. ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ☕️, 🎹, 🎤, 🎳,🎲,🏀, & 🎾.